CREATING COMMUNITY: 5 Questions

This is one of my favorite games. It's actually not much of a game but more of a way to get to know a person. It can be someone you've known for years or for days. It makes no difference.

This game started the day before a road trip I took with Blaine Lay (Blaine always introduces the characters of his stories with their first and last name, so I will follow suit). Blaine's car stereo was on the fritz so to pass the time he proposed we come up with 5 random questions to ask the other and answer ourselves. No topic taboo, all answered in complete honesty. So we spent the evening coming up with our unique list of queries and met up the next day to begin our trip.

Basic reuniting chit-chat started the car ride. Both of us knew that we didn't want to start until comfortably on the highway. So until then, we paid our dues to small talk.

We took turns. Blaine asked a question, I answered, then he answered the same question. Then I asked, and so on. Now, Blaine and I have known each other since 2004 and I would say, in that time, we have come to know each other very well. These questions though brought us an insight into each others lives that would be difficult to achieve otherwise. And here is why:

It wasn't because we asked particularly difficult questions, some were pretty deep, but that's not the point. The point is, we were given an opportunity to be vulnerable with each other. For example, one of the questions was, "Which parent are you more like? Which character trait do you share that are good? Which character trait do you share that isn't?" Now, I'm not going to get into the answers, but you see, it gave us an opportunity to not only talk about our strengths but also about our weaknesses. Something guys do far too little of and yet can be one of the most beneficial conversations two guys can have. The follow up question, "If your life was an animated movie, what creature would represent you? and what would the scene you are currently in be called?" A pretty innocuous question, but one that gave us an opportunity to frame our current situation in the context of our lives. (FYI: I think I was a monkey and Blaine, a bear)

Blaine and I still play this with a different list every time we know we'll have some extended time between the two of us. And it's something I look forward to every time.

So next time you're planning to spend 1 on 1 time with a friend, think about assigning a questions list. It doesn't have to be 5 and they don't have to be soul searching. Just be able to answer anything you ask, and most importantly, be honest.